TRUST – as defined in the dictionary states – “something committed or entrusted to one’s care for use or safekeeping, as an office, duty or the like, responsibility,or charge”. It is a simple 5 letter word that we really use every day and don’t think much about it. Phrases like – I trust you will make the right choice; I trust you are well; I trust that you will clean up after yourself. The list goes on and on. We don’t think of its significance, it is a word, part of our vocabulary. But the one sentence that it is used in and has the most impact is – I trust you. Those three words have such an impact on people and their lives – I trust YOU. It means you are confident enough to give someone the responsibility of looking after something you care a great deal for, something that you love, something that you would give your life for if it meant that thing was safe. They are powerful words. So powerful that when that trust is broken, the effects are inexcusable. The anger, hurt, fear that is felt cannot be described. To see the pain caused is heartbreaking. Those three words can make someone feel like they are on top of the world when spoken, but when broken can cause havoc, feelings of confusion, deceit and hate.
So today is my Birthday. Yep – 57 years old. Time sure does fly. I remember when I was in my twenties, 57 seemed so old. Like nursing home old. Like where is my walker old. And here I find myself at 57, not in a nursing home and not needing a walker, although some days it would be nice to have one. I made a vow when I turned 40 that I would never work on my birthday so today I am home trying really hard not to do anything housework related. Of course, all the little things that need to be done on a daily basis are calling out to me. I am trying really hard to ignore the dog hair tumbleweed in my hallway or the toothpaste splashes on my bathroom mirrors. Seeing as it is too early for wine, I have had to fight the urge to sweep up the dog hair or dust or do laundry or clean the bathrooms or any of those other jobs that are calling me. Believe me this is not an easy task. I got up this morning and while having coffee surfed the net, read up on emails, then proceeded to try and think up some things I can do. I went out to check the garden and tried to pull some carrots but decided that this was way too much exertion for me on my birthday so I stopped. I checked the time – still too early for wine. I think perhaps this afternoon might be spent reading outside, or maybe go for a walk. Anyways, that will be my day. The only thing that keeps me going is that I will eventually be able to have that glass of wine and only then will I be able to sit and put my feet up and toast my 57 years on this earth with my best friend.
I have lived in my home for over 25 years now. It is a semi-detached in a nice neighborhood. It is the type of neighborhood where I have watched the neighborhood kids go from being little toddlers at the park to pimply faced teenagers to young adults driving and eventually moving away. Being in a semi-detached, you don’t have the real privacy you would have in a single family home, although now with the homes being built so close together, I often wonder what is the real difference. Neighbors have come and gone beside us and we have been fairly lucky. First neighbors I had when I first moved in were young, new baby, very quiet and respectable until I found out they split up and were selling. We then got a great family, four kids, but at that time I was having my babies so the noise didn’t really bother me as I am sure we were a bit loud at times with little feet running around. When they moved we were blessed with a single mother and her three daughters. Very quiet people who I quickly discovered did not like it when I turned my television up a few notches when looking at a movie. At the time our basement was not finished so our TV was in the living room. I would quickly hear the bang bang bang on the adjoining wall telling us we were too loud. I begged to differ. This became very annoying as it seemed that any little noise we made would bring the bang bang bang back. I was relieved when they moved. Our next neighbor was a single young lady who ended up being like a daughter to me. She was great. I looked forward to our chats over the fence and we were always exchanging jokes and comments and even a few glasses of wine. It was a very sad day when she met the man of her dreams and announced she was selling. I still miss her. This brings us to our now neighbors. A brother and sister in their twenties with lots and lots, let me emphasis on the lots, of friends. They sit out on the deck smoking not only cigarettes, talking loud, cursing and when smoking the wacky tabacky, hack and cough up a lung at all hours of the night. Seeing as our bedroom window is on the second floor in the back of the house, the noises sound like they are actually sitting right outside our bedroom window. Our once peaceful back yard has not been so peaceful this summer. We have had a few nights were we have sat outside and enjoyed the tranquility because they have been away but very rarely. If they are out and come home in the early hours, they usually have to go out and have that last cigarette before bed with all the friends that have come home with them and they talk like it is 2:00 in the afternoon rather than 2:00 in the morning. I have so far remained calm and been a very good neighbor and the twitch in my left eye has not been too bad and I have been able to control it. If I just remember to stay away from the machete in the shed and I think we are good. Or maybe next party they have and they are all sitting out on the deck, I will come out wearing only my underwear with a lampshade over my head and start speaking in tongues and rant about the end of the world. That will shut them up or maybe I will get invited to the party. Either way a win win situation, I think.