Why Can’t We All Just Get Along

gay heartGrowing up in the 70s, the idea of anyone being gay, lesbian, bisexual or even transgender was something you didn’t talk about.  In fact I remember seeing someone I went to high school with, who everyone used to talk about as being a kind of an odd guy, wearing eyeliner and working in the make up counter at the Bay after graduation.  The only thing that crossed my mind was – That is weird.  I mean, he was a nice guy, never did anything to hurt me in high school.  He was always friendly to me.  Who was I to judge.

Over the years I have worked with many gay and lesbian people and never really thought anything anything other than what wonderful people they are.  After all, someones sexual preference is no business of mine.  I have had several incidents in my life that have really made me think about this side of life. The first was when my Photographer husband was hired to photograph his first Lesbian wedding.  I agreed to go as his assistant  to help out, but partly because there was a curiosity.  They were a couple from down in the States, who wanted to start a family and it wasn’t legal for them to marry in their State, so they came up to Canada.

Now, being an emotional person, I have cried and still do, at every wedding I go to.  I don’t know what it is, but there is just something about a wedding, at that moment when the Bride walks in with her father and sees her husband to be  for the first time that brings tears to my eyes.  Maybe it is the romantic in me, I don’t know.  I was very curious to see if I would feel the same emotions at a Lesbian wedding that I do at a straight wedding.

Unfortunately the Brides father was not in favor of his daughters lifestyle and wouldn’t  attend,  but her mother was there and although I felt she might have been a bit uncomfortable, the fact that she was there to support her daughter made her A Okay in my books.  The ceremony started and in comes the Bride with her mother, walks up the aisle and sees her Bride waiting for her at the alter and the tears started to flow. I realized something very important that day.  I realized that it isn’t about  whether you are gay or straight,  it is all about LOVE.  The love that two people share when they finally find that perfect someone to spend the rest of their lives with. The fact that two people, who had had such a struggle and have had to fight for their rights can find happiness  and live a normal life just like straight people. The other Brides parents did not come and I remember thinking how sad that would be.  To have the most important time in your life happen, and your parents not attend because they refuse to accept a who you really are.

As a mother, the only thing I want for my children is to be happy. I went on to think about how I would react should they ever tell me they were gay.  It doesn’t matter.  They are my flesh and blood and all I ask is that they find love and be happy, even if that is with the same gender.  Would I, as a parent, be able to shun them and tell them they are no longer my child. I don’t understand how a parent can do that. I even told them, even before they started dating and were old enough to understand, that it didn’t matter to me.  That no matter what their preference was, I would love them no matter what. I didn’t want them living in fear or even worse, hiding who they really are because they are afraid how I would react.

I have since gone on to assist at several lesbian and gay weddings and the emotions are always there.  I think it is absolutely wonderful that two people can be proud of finding happiness and I have some wonderful friends who have since come out and married and it makes my heart swell with pride that they can now live a life full of love and be happy without ridicule or negativity.

It was through a friend that I became aware of the Transgender community.  Again, not something that I really thought about.  As a teenager, we would fall down laughing if we saw someone dressing as the other gender especially a man.  I mean who doesn’t love a good Drag Queen, flamboyant with a bit too much make up on.  That was the image that came to mind.   I had the opportunity to support this friend by attending a Transgender Christmas Party a few years ago and I have to say I was absolutely overwhelmed at the amount of people who are transgender and have struggled over the years  just to be heard. To see them all together, laughing and enjoying themselves really makes you think. For some of them, it is  one night of the year that they can actually be happy and be themselves.  That is just plain sad.

We, as straight heterosexual people, find so much fault in life, we are constantly criticizing people for their beliefs, for their preferences, for their loves, for their values, and for the color of their skin.  This needs to stop.  We need to look at everyone as equals. So what if they love the same gender, want to be another gender or even just dress as another gender occassionally, who are we to say it isn’t right. We need to look into their hearts and their souls.  They are all good people.  In fact, I think better people than some of the straight people I know.  I have met some pretty fickle straight people in my years, but have never met a fickle gay person.

It is time we start accepting that the world is changing.  People from all walks of life want rights, they want to be heard and it is up to us to stand and listen and welcome them with open arms.  I know my arms are open…. are yours?

 

gay 2

 

The Night I Made Jennifer Aniston Cry

Yep, I did.  Made her cry like a baby.  It was during an interview where I was asking her questions about what it was like to be the daughter of Dr. Phil.   I also do a pretty mean imitation of Dr. Phil too.   It was just in a dream, but that is besides the point.  I made her cry and how many people can say that.

Dreams!  Why the heck do we dream some of the nonsense we do.  I can remember it like it was real.  Jennifer was Dr. Phil’s daughter and I was asking her what it was like going through her teenage years and if Dr. Phil would analyze all her thoughts as she grew up. So whenever I would ask her a question about something Dr. Phil would say I would say it in his voice.  She got upset with me because she thought I was making fun of her Dad and started to cry.

ca. 2004 --- Dr. Phil McGraw Giving Thumbs Up --- Image by © Robert Trachtenberg/CORBIS OUTLINE

J. aniston

Now, I don’t give a lot of thought about Jennifer Aniston or Dr. Phil.  In fact I find them both a bit annoying, but why the heck would I dream about them.  I have had weird dreams in the past that when I wake up I can say – Okay I know why I dreamt that, especially after my husband and I have watched a Criminal Minds marathon on the TV, but sometimes I just wake up and think WTF.

I found these interesting facts on the internet I thought I would share.  I especially find Fact #4 amusing seeing as I have dreamt I have won money or I have become famous.  Could that be in my future?  Who knows.  I have come to the conclusion that rather than trying to analyze the Why of my dreams, I just look at them for the amusement that they really are..

Fact #1: You can’t read while dreaming, or tell the time

If you are unsure whether you are dreaming or not, try reading something. The vast majority of people are incapable of reading in their dreams. The same goes for clocks: each time you look at a clock it will tell a different time and the hands on the clock won’t appear to be moving as reported by lucid dreamers.

Fact #2: Lucid dreaming

There is a whole subculture of people practicing what is called lucid or conscious dreaming. Using various techniques, these people have supposedly learned to assume control of their dreams and do amazing things like flying, passing through walls, and traveling to different dimensions or even back in time.

Fact #3: Inventions inspired by dreams

Dreams are responsible for many of the greatest inventions of mankind. A few examples include:

  • The idea for Google -Larry Page
  • Alternating current generator -Tesla
  • DNA’s double helix spiral form -James Watson
  • The sewing machine -Elias Howe
  • Periodic table -Dimitri Mendeleyev

…and many, many more.

Fact #4: Premonition dreams

There are some astounding cases where people actually dreamt about things which happened to them later, in the exact same ways they dreamed about. You could say they got a glimpse of the future, or it might have just been coincidence. The fact remains that this is some seriously interesting and bizarre phenomena. Some of the most famous premonition dreams include:

  • Abraham Lincoln dreamt of His Assassination
  • Many of the victims of 9/11 had dreams warning them about the catastrophe
  • Mark Twain’s dream of his brother’s demise
  • 19 verified precognitive dreams about the Titanic catastrophe

Fact #5: Sleep paralysis

Hell is real and it is called sleep paralysis. It’s the stuff of true nightmares. I’ve been a sleep paralysis sufferer as a kid and I can attest to how truly horrible it is. Two characteristics of sleep paralysis are the inability to move (hence paralysis) and a sense of an extremely evil presence in the room with you. It doesn’t feel like a dream, but 100% real. Studies show that during an attack, sleep paralysis sufferers show an overwhelming amygdala activity. The amygdala is responsible for the “fight or flight” instinct and the emotions of fear, terror and anxiety. Enough said!

Fact #6: REM sleep disorder

In the state of REM (rapid-eye-movement) stage of your sleep your body is normally paralyzed. In rare cases, however, people act out their dreams. These have resulted in broken arms, legs, broken furniture, and in at least one reported case, a house burnt down.

Fact #7: Sexual dreams

The very scientifically-named “nocturnal penile tumescence” is a very well documented phenomenon. In laymen’s term it simply means that you get a stiffy while you sleep. Actually, studies indicate that men get up to 20 erections per dream.

Fact #8: Unbelievable Sleepwalkers

Sleepwalking is a very rare and potentially dangerous sleep disorder. It is an extreme form of REM sleep disorder, and these people don’t just act out their dreams, but go on real adventures at night.

Lee Hadwin is a nurse by profession, but in his dreams he is an artist. Literally. He “sleepdraws” gorgeous portraits, of which he has no recollection afterwards. Strange sleepwalking “adventures” include:

  • A woman having sex with strangers while sleepwalking
  • A man who drove 22 miles and killed his cousin while sleepwalking (how is this even possible?)
  • A sleepwalker who walked out of the window from the third floor, and barely survived

Fact #9: Dream drug

There are actually people who like dreaming and dreams so much that they never want to wake up. They want to continue on dreaming even during the day, so they take an illegal and extremely potent hallucinogenic drug called Dimethyltryptamine. It is actually only an isolated and synthetic form of the chemical our brains produce naturally during dreaming.

Fact #10 Dream-catcher

The dream-catcher is one of the most well-known Native American symbols. It is a loose web or webs woven around a hoop and decorated with sacred objects meant to protect against nightmares.

So  tonight, when you turn off your lights and roll over to get in that favorite position you usually get into, drift into dreamland knowing that when you wake up, your mind will have returned from its crazy adventure and leave you shaking your head.  Don’t sit and wonder why, sit back and enjoy it for what it was – A dream…… or was it.

 

 

Finger Licking .. WHAT?????

I remember as a child when the first Kentucky Fried Chicken opened up in my home town, the commercials on the TV portrayed the Colonel as a stately Southern Gentleman. He was someone who was respected among the Fried Chicken Community. He came across as a quiet man, content with finding that perfect recipe that would bring people flocking into his stores.

col saundersThe commercials were always informative and would keep you abreast of all the latest offers.  Every Sunday the store would be packed with Fathers waiting to pick up a bucket for dinner.  Even on cold winter days, when people would be cooped up, they would venture out to get that hot steamy bucket of chicken.  For those who weren’t sure what to order, they would stand in line and when they got to the cash they would wing it.   It didn’t matter what their choice was, it would be good and it would be finger licking Good.

Now, fast forward to today.  They have recreated the role of Colonel Saunders and I have to say, they are making him out to be an IDIOT.  I am sorry, but dancing around the office or having stupid nightmares about aliens and the end of Hot Chicken Sandwiches as we know them.  Come On.

The old Colonel  made me think of sweet magnolias and mint juleps and willow trees and southern belles wearing  hooped skirts carrying little frilly umbrellas.  Having a bucket of chicken was like having the Colonel come to your place.

Over the years I found that wonderfully chicken recipe has changed and most of the Chicken outlets in the area are slowly closing. Now with the reintroduction of the comical Colonel, rather than bringing me back to that wonderful finger licking goodness, it is pushing me away even further.

I would have to think that  the real Colonel is probably rolling over in his grave, hiding his face in shame  and apologizing to chickens all over the world.

 

Growing old without Grace

When you are in your twenties, the thought of growing old is something you really don’t think that much about.  I remember in my twenties anyone who was late thirties or early forties was, in my mind, ancient.  People used to say – just wait until you are that age to which I would reply – ya right…that’s along way away.  Fast forward to today and here I am in my 50’s.  I know now what everyone was talking about.  I remember going to visit my mother  and finding her in tears because she couldn’t do her spring cleaning the way she used to and how it took her two days to do things she used to normally do in one day.  I would just smile but think to myself -Wow -crying over that.  Well, here I am today crying over the exact same thing.  I decided to compile a list of all the things I have noticed about myself since turning 50 that has changed over the years.elderly

1 – Little thinks like putting on a pair of socks and even pants, can turn into a comedy of errors trying to get your foot up high enough.

2. – I get down on the floor – let me rephrase that – It takes time for me to get down on the floor and when I have to get back up – it takes me a few tries not to mention needing something to support myself on.

3 – Kneeling hurts – I try to get down to hand wash the floor and I can’t kneel.  The thought of kneeling pads is looking pretty sexy to me.

4 – Fear of slipping on ice.  When I was younger, it was fun to walk on ice – slipping and sliding never bothered me.  Now, the thought of an ice storm, brings instant panic. I tense up walking on ice because I am so afraid of falling.

5 – Going up and down a ladder bothers me.  I used to never give it another thought.  Now if I am painting for example and have to go up and down the ladder, the next day hurts and I mean really hurts.

6 – Arthritis sucks.  I can tell when it is going to rain and it hurts.

7 – Trying to lose weight is a chore.  Your metabolism slows down but your appetite doesn’t – at least not yet.

8 – Spring or Fall cleaning is not a priority anymore.  If I don’t get to it – no biggy.

9 – Have caught myself using the phrase – When I was young – too many times.

10 – I have hair growing out of areas I never thought hair could grow.  My Tweezer has become my best friend.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying this time in my life and I still don’t act my age, it is just somethings you really notice about yourself.

Growing old is something we can’t stop so we might as well just pull up our depends and make the most of it.  Life should be fun at any age.

Heart for Fiona

I love animals, especially dogs. Over the years I have owned a few dogs including a Border Collie named Chase who we bought when he was 10 weeks old. I never really thought too much about rescue dogs until one day, surfing the net, I came across this video.


I don’t know why it touched me so much, but I remember watching it over and over and crying my eyes out. How can people do this to poor defenseless animals. Her little face looking up from a pile of rubbish broke my heart. It was only natural when we decided to get another dog, I turned to Rescue Organizations. We were able to give a loving home to a poor unfortunate dog but I wanted to do more and you can too.
Please check out my line to Rescue Dogs Need Love.  With every purchase a portion of sales will go towards rescue sites in North America. Rescue dogs don’t ask for much – just love and a warm place to sleep.

Eating Her Curds and Weigh

For the last several years, I have been in a constant battle with my weight.  It seems that as soon as I hit my 50’s, losing weight became harder and harder.  My main problem is I LOVE FOOD.  I have this fear of being hungry so the thought of just eating a salad is scary.   I know that if I just discipline myself, I can do it, but I just have this fear or dread of having to cut down.  It is very hard to explain.  I can go through days where I will eat properly, watch my carbs, calories etc., then something inside of me clicks and I can’t get the food in me fast enough.  Binge eating?  Maybe.  My knowledge of binge eating comes from programs on TV where women will devour a whole chicken in one sitting and I certainly have not done that – at least not yet.

It is a viscous cycle.  I convince myself I am going to lose weight, I go and buy good healthy foods, lots of fruits and vegetables, make a solemn vow to myself that by summer I will be fitting in size large instead of XXXXXL and I eat right, pack my lunch for work, and that usually about a week before I will stay – Screw It – lets have some fries – then the guilt sets in and I beat myself up for being so stupid.  I do this over and over again.  WHY????

We have done weight loss challenges at work and I even won once by losing the most weight in a 10 week period but after it is over – guess what – it all comes back.  I just can’t seem to get over that hump.  So I guess the reason for my post other than to bitch and complain about myself – is to make it public for all to read – I – Karen Leah Scott – do solemnly swear that I will make a conscious effort to loose weight, not eat a whole chicken and fit into a size L by summer time.

Comicon or Bust

I didn’t discover how much of a fan I was of Comiccon until I was in my 50’s.  In fact, I had no idea that these conventions existed and if you had told me that there were places where people dressed up in their favorite comic book character for a whole weekend I would have looked at you and said – WTF.   I had heard of comic book or trading card conventions and they didn’t interest me.  My ex husband was not much into doing anything out of the ordinary let alone have fun which included dressing up for Halloween, so I never paid much attention to these kind of things.  Having remarried, I had no idea my husband was such an enthusiast of Halloween and dressing up.  Our first Halloween together I was asked – What are you wearing to answer the door?  Looking at him I simply said – just my regular clothes.  Nooooo, he said, it’s halloween, you have to dress up.  Little did I know my world was going to change after that night.  My daughter introduced me to the world of  dress up conventions. She was very much into Japanese Anime at the time and had asked for a ride to a Hotel in Ottawa that was hosting an Anime Convention.  I thought it was kind of fun to help her dress as her character and was intrigued when I found sites on the internet that described these get togethers.  Driving her to the venue, I saw people of all ages walking down the street dressed as dragons, elves, Super Mario, monsters.  I was amazed and even commented -That looked like fun.

Sarah Anime 1

The next year we found out that Comiccon was coming to Ottawa.  My kids wanted to go so we decided we would all go together. Make it a family affair.  I was intrigued with the whole idea but thought the idea of walking around looking at a bunch of booths of comic books and T-shirts would get kind of boring after a while, but I was a sport so I went along.

Although we didn’t dress I was hooked.  I spent the better part of the day walking around in amazement of the costumes.  The creativity of some people was absolutely incredible and the number of families, dressed together in their favorite Star Wars character or Video game – unbelievable. We left that Saturday with a vow that we would return the following year and we would dress.

Being a big Arrow fan, there was no doubt who my husband was going as and he is a true believer of Go Big or Go Home.  If he was going to be Arrow he was going to do it right so he turned to Ebay and found the ideal suit and ordered it.  I, on the other hand didn’t want to spend that amount of money so turned to the internet and found being a zombie would be cool.  I had never heard of the Walking Dead at this time I just liked Zombies. My son went as one of the Dr. Who’s and my daughter dressed as Lavi, from her Anime shows.

zombie and lavi- 2014 Arrow - Comicon 1 Dr, Who Comicon - 2014 comicon 2014

We had a great day which included a picnic lunch in the parking lot.   I got such a thrill being asked to have my picture taken. It was like for one day I could forget who I was and be a bit of a celebrity.

The next year we geared up for another weekend. I improved by Zombie look by investing in a pair of zombie contacts which really added to the effect.

Comicon pro 1 Comicon pro

By this time we had discovered the Walking Dead and were right into the whole Rick and Zombie thing. My husband invested in a Rick Grimes Sheriff costume.  With the TV show being very popular, we were constantly being asked to stop and have our picture taken and even participated in a photo shoot.   It was great and although I was exhausted by the time our weekend had ended I was also sad that my celebrity status was coming to an end.

People ask me why I like to go to Comiccon and although I can’t really put my finger on it all I can say to them is –  it is fun.  It is fun because it allows me to do something completely out of my comfort zone, I spend the day with my husband having a great time together, I  get to see the wonderful creativity that people have not to mention I get to see some celebrities along the way  and it is just something different to do on a weekend.  I think the big thing that I enjoy the most is the look of awe, amazement and wonder in the eyes of the kids that come up to you and want to have your picture taken with them.

So yeah – I am 57 this year and I am excited go to Comiccon again this year.  So when someone tells me to act my age, I say to them – I am.

 

Footprints Never Forgotten

In my 50 some years I have seen many things, gone through many  things and had to deal with all kinds of things in  this thing they call life.  Sometimes it can be absolutely wonderful and other times it can just plain suck to the point where you have to ask yourself –  why me.

One of those sucky things is the loss of a baby.  I remember the excitement of finding out I was pregnant.  We had been trying for a while so when it finally happened I couldn’t believe it. Here I was at 33 finally pregnant.  I spent endless nights with my hands on my stomach looking down  in amazement that I had a baby in there.  I couldn’t believe it.  Me – pregnant.

The pregnancy was good.  I did everything I was supposed to. I was a smoker back then and I cut back quite a bit to eventually in my sixth month quitting completely.  I ate healthy, and felt pretty good.  The doctor didn’t see anything that raised any concern.  The baby was growing normally, a bit small, but nothing to worry about.  We got a crib and all the other baby things needed,  generously donated by friends who had already had their families.  I waited anxiously for my doctor appointments to listen to the little heartbeat.  At that time, ultrasounds were not as frequent as they are today so my doctor never scheduled one for me because everything was just fine and as my Doctor I trusted him.

At my 34th week, I had gone for a check up and the heartbeat was good, and everything was just fine.  I wondered why I wasn’t as huge as some of my friends at this stage of my pregnancy but figured that the baby was just small and I wasn’t a big person either.  A week later, sitting at work, I started to get some crappy feelings.  When I got home I ran to my trusted book and read where it is normal to feel this at this stage.  As the evening progressed, they got worse and finally at 2:00 in the morning I knew something was wrong and we had to get to the hospital.   When I think back there were alot of warning signs in the last few months of my pregnancy  that I didn’t pay attention to, but being my first pregnancy I listened to my Doctor.

They whisked me into a delivery room, checked me over and then told me the news – they couldn’t detect a heartbeat and would have to just let the labour progress.  I think at that point I went into shock because I don’t remember much after that.  I remember  crying and I remember the countless Doctors and Nurses coming and going each one coming up to me to offer their condolences.  The baby, a boy, was born quickly.  I was told he only weighed 2 lbs.  I never saw him.  I was asked if I wanted to see him, that he had probably been dead inside of  me for about 4 days  – I said no.  The only thing I asked was if he had hair.  Yes they said, he had a full head of dark hair.  I had an image in my head of what he looked like and I wanted to keep it.

They did an autopsy and couldn’t find anything wrong with him. He was a perfectly formed little boy with no birth defects, just very small. The next week was a blur.  We signed the body over to the hospital, why –  just seemed the best thing to do at the time and I remember the feeling of complete emptiness leaving the hospital with no little bundle. I felt alone and I felt like a complete failure.  I blamed myself – I smoked; I used pesticides in the garden when I was pregnant; I had a cup of coffee while pregnant.  I was convinced it was my fault.  I had no one to really talk to including my husband at the time.  I don’t know how I did it but I somehow got through it.  I went on to have two healthy beautiful babies who are now 23 and 21.

The marriage is long over and I have moved on but I think about my little guy every once in a while.  As a tribute I planted a lilac bush in the back yard after I got home from the hospital and every year he gives me beautiful smelling lilacs.  My biggest regret was that I never held him.  Although I still have that image in my head of my little dark haired cherub, I really wish, as hard as it would have been, that  I had  at least held him for just a short time and told him I loved him.

When you lose a baby like that, people don’t know how to react.  Friends would not say anything which I found harder to cope with than if they offered their condolences.  They tried not to talk about it for fear of upsetting me when  what I wanted or needed was to talk, I wanted to relive the birth through words because then it would make it feel real.  People acted as if the pregnancy never existed – I was expected to just move along, go back to work, act like nothing had happened.  Shoulders were shrugged as if to say – Oh well, you can have another baby.  I mourned on my own and kept feelings to myself and spent many night crying to myself in the dark.

It has been almost 25 years since that terrible day and my little dark haired cherub is still on my mind and forever in my heart.  The death of a baby is  a devastating time to any mother.  I doesn’t matter if it happens at 2 months, 6 months, or 34 months.  It was still a part of you and a memory that will remain in your heart until your dying day. No one fully understands this expect a mother who has lived it.

baby feet

Things that make you go – Hummmmmmm

We have been hit with a record snowfall today and the city is a mess.  Pictures on the news of throngs of people standing in blizzard conditions waiting for buses that never come, people helping people pushing cars out of snowbanks and mayhem everywhere.  While standing waiting for the bus this afternoon, as my feet slowly because to loose all feeling,  I couldn’t help but think of all the places I would much rather be.

Hot crackling fires with a cup of steaming fireball hot chocolate and the latest novel.

Tropical paradises that include an all you can drink bar and no place to go.

A hot soothing bath and a glass of wine.

and last but not least

Where I now the warmth is in abundance and the love is endless.

The True Meaning of Valentines Day

I remember when I was a young girl and Valentines Day was right up there with Christmas.  When you are dating, it is a very important time.  It is a time to show how much your partner means to you and how special they are. It was a thrill to get a box of heart shaped chocolates or a bouquet of roses and a dinner out where you gazed lovingly into each others eyes.  Ahhhh, romance and to be young again.

Now that I am older, I have realized that I don’t need a special day to tell my spouse how much I love him or how special he is in my life and he feels the same.  We tell each other everyday that we love each other and do little things over the year to show how much we care.  I don’t need overpriced flowers or a box of crappy chocolates to make me feel special.  Being in a relationship or a marriage is hard work and it really does take two to make it work.  Having gone through a bad marriage, I know from experience how much work is involved and how things can fall apart when it is one sided.  Now that I have remarried to my knight in shining armor, we are constantly working on keeping the flame alive.  I thought I would share with you some of the little things that can be done that makes everyday Valentines day.

1.   Constantly say you love each other before hang up when you  call each other during the day – no matter how often.

2.   Getting messages at work, just to say hi or they were thinking about you.

3.    Having your spouse bring you a cup of tea in the evening just because they thought you might like one.

4.    Getting home from work after a hard day and having your spouse tell you you aren’t cooking and they are ordering pizza.

5.    Pulling the footrest closer to you when they see you too short to reach it.

6.    Bringing home a surprise poinsettia at Christmas or Easter Lily at Easter just because they saw it and thought of you.

7.     Taking care of each other when you are sick.

8.     Surprise little gifts, T-shirts, funny aprons etc., just because.

9.     Making the bed in the morning without being asked.

10.   Throwing in a load of laundry because they noticed the basket was full and you were tired.

I could go on and on, but am sure you get the picture.  Life is all about learning and we have all learned valuable lessons from all of our past relationships.  I know what is important in my marriage and what is not.  I don’t need a special day to tell my husband how much I love him – he knows it and he feels it every day of the year, and I certainly don’t need an over priced bouquet of flowers or a dinner in an over crowded restaurant to feel special.

But for all of you who do – I wish you a very HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.